We need to change the way we talk about crying. we need to remove the shame from crying and acknowledge that tears signify a shift, a healing. When we cry (really cry) we release hormones in our brain that helps us to heal, so that we will never need to cry that hard about that specific thing ever again.
Additionally, when one is speaking with conviction, they may start to cry. It is almost impossible to truly ignore someone who is crying. You can pretend, but everyone in the vicinity is usually aware of the crying person. Tears are powerful. Our shame of our own tears diminishes that power. Holding back tears is not powerful, it is conforming to a kyriarchical fear of emotional integrity.
We also need to change the way we respond to crying. People who are crying often do not need (nor necessarily want) people to rush to them and attempt to comfort them. In fact both the one crying and those witnessing may actually benefit more by learning to sit with those uncomfortable feelings. Being touched or otherwise attended to can jolt us out of our release, and will often decentre the person who is experiencing the intense emotions.
We Need To Change The Way We Talk About Crying
Decolonization: A Resource for Indigenous Solidarity
Anna Soole is located on unceded, illegally occupied, Coast Salish homelands, stewarded by thexʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), Stó:lō,andTsleil-Waututh Nations since time immemorial, colonially known as Vancouver, BC, Canada.